Monday, January 31, 2011

Further Testing...

Sunday evening was certainly a trial. The man I was dating came over and we sat and talked and he decided that he needed a break. I told him that I don't disagree. A lot has changed in his life recently and the dust needs to settle. On top of that, the fact that he is still technically married has always given me cause for concern. Mostly because I know God still sees him as a married man and that puts me out of line with God's will. Another part, a fleshly part of course, was concerned because, well, what if they ended up getting back together? Where would that leave me? I couldn't be mad at him. I would be, but it wouldn't be justified because I knew what I was getting into to begin with.

So we are currently on a "trial separation" for the next couple of weeks. It's still difficult, my heart hurts, but God is seeing me through this. I have had invitations from friends to go out with them this coming Saturday to a club. As much as I would like to lose myself in alcohol, loud music, and scantily clad people, I know that is not where I NEED to be, so I asked a friend to go to dinner with me. She gladly accepted. She knows my heart and knows what I need right now. I love her dearly for helping me through a rather difficult time in my life.


It occurred to me that I never really posted why I have decided to start this blog, so here it goes!

I am a single mom to a 5 year old little boy. His dad is not in our lives, so I am the second provider (God always being the first) for both of us. The last 5 years of my life have been...amazing. I have gone through some of the most troubling times, and God has been there to carry me through. I can honestly say that He has allowed me to fall on my face because of my selfish indulgence and outright disobedience, but I know He still loves me.

I want my life to inspire others to follow the path God has laid out for them, even when it is difficult. If I can encourage anyone with what I have gone through, even if it is just one person with this blog, I will feel truly blessed indeed.

I plan to post 2-3 times per week. I realize that, like me, everyone has a busy schedule and their first priority after getting home from work is not to rush to the computer to see if someone has posted a new blog. Family, friend, and volunteer opportunities do take presidence, as they do in my life. I promise to be as open and honest as God leads me to be. Please feel free to ask me questions and I will do my absolute best to respond.

Until next time, be safe and may God lovingly bless you and yours. In Him. Miss B.

1 comment:

  1. I can understand and appreciate your concern about the fellow in your life, especially if he is still married. If you don't feel 100% at ease about this, if something doesn't seem quite right, trust this. I'll keep you in my prayers.

    As for your desire to encourage others by sharing your experience with God even in times of trial (or especially in times of trial), I do know that reading your blog is an inspiration to me, to see someone's faith in God through trials and deep struggle, whatever they are.

    God bless! (And stay warm!)