Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Compromise and Acceptance

This is something that is difficult for a lot of people. Let's start off with the definitions (brought to you by The Free Dictionary):

Compromise: A settlement of differences in which each side makes concession

Acceptance: to take or receive (something offered)

Okay, that wasn't so bad, now was it?

Compromise for me is difficult because it means that I have to not get everything I want and I have to LIKE IT!! Not the superficial, "I'm going to act like everything is okay, but then bottle up my emotions and let it all come out when the next related incident comes up," or "I'm going to pick at you and make passive aggressive, snippy comments any time I get the chance." kind of acceptance, but real, genuine, honest-to-goodness compromise.

Compromise and acceptance can manifest themselves in forgiveness.

One incident where I can clearly remember this lesson starting is with my son. I was sick, the hormones were having their way with my emotions, and we were at the doctor's office . He decided that rolling around on the doctor's stool was the thing to do while playing with my itouch.

I warned him to be careful. I asked him to stop rolling around. Neither of those things happened.

He over-corrected on a roll and he fell to the side. The side that held the touch.

Onto the floor, face first, went the touch. He righted himself and I retrieved it from him. Sure enough, three cracks were running across the face.

I wanted to scream, cry....pretty much any emotion one human being could possibly feel came crashing down on me all at once. I took a few deep breaths with my eyes closed. Oddly enough, the thought that came to mind was, "Is screaming at him going to change this?"

No, it wont.

Instead of doing any of the 10 things that first came to my mind, my reaction was to tell him, "You have lost the ability to use the touch." Though there were a few days in which I chose to make little comments about the incident instead of letting it go and moving on, this was honestly the first time I can say that I gained the acceptance of a bad situation in a rather short period of time. Instead of reacting as I normally would have, I chose to act better. Sure, I now have a touch with a cracked screen that needs to be replaced, however it does still work and my son is no longer able to use it. Compromise achieved!

I'm not perfect at this by any stretch of the imagination, but I am clearly seeing situations, whether they are big or small, arise and I am trying to take a more forgiving stance on them. Some situations just can't be helped or remedied and your choice in the compromise is void, yet you still have to live with the outcome of the situation.

Do you needle and pick at people when something is done or said that is off-putting to you?

Just once when an occasion like that arises, try not saying those passive negative comments. So what if it's not going to go your way? LIFE ISN'T FAIR, but in YOU choosing how you react to it, you may feel better about your actions and words after the fact.

Find yourself in a conversation with someone that picks at you? There are always ways to extract yourself from them gracefully and not get drawn into saying something you might regret later. You cannot control how others act or react, you are only in control of yourself. Make the way you react reflect God's love and grace and see how the opposition reacts.

God bless you my friends. <3

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